I Claim you in the Name of Complete and Utter Infatuation
by WaddleDeePlushie
Summary: I had to do this after my friend talked about it. I finally set out to complete this mildly confusing task. Summary: Spongebob becomes enticed by an exotic being. He finds this foreigner strangely attractive. Will Marvin get the gist of intimacy this sea creature longs for? Or will he suggest something more manipulative...
1. Chapter 1

** AN:**

**Of all odd of ships, I'm mildly perplexed that there isn't any Marvin the Martian x Spongebob pairings yet…**

**Well, I'll try it. :) The stranger, the better.**

After a long and monotonous day at the Krusty Krab, Spongebob and Squidward tiredly made their way to their respective homes. Though,

most of the tiredness was associated with Squidward. He was certain he was the only one who mainly felt the whole day's work most

inconveniently punishing his aching back. He muttered to himself irately, rubbing and tending to his irritated back, longing for the soft cushion

of his bed to cease his current ailments. As Squidward egress a sigh, he caught Spongebob peering at him with an inquisitive expression on

his porous face.

"You don't look so well, Squidward." Spongebob frowned, trying to empathize with him even though he himself mostly felt energized.

"Yeah, I'm so glad you noticed." The squid sardonically retorted, not in the mood to talk.

At that, Spongebob conjured the most amazing idea ever for his irritable friend. "Oh! I know!" he gamboled about excitedly. "I can help

you with your back!" He giggled frantically, smiling cheek to cheek. He suddenly started running toward his pineapple abode, so eager to help

his stumped buddy. "I'll get the supplies!" His sing-songed voice echoed back at Squidward, trailing off and growing faint in the distance.

"I DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP!" Squidward roared back, clenching his tentacles in dismay.

The familiar red flush of anger seared on his face. The ignorant sponge most likely ignored his detest and was already inside of his house- his

private domain. Oh, how he resented him. All he wanted was some privacy. That sponge had no sense of propriety whatsoever.

The squid's world of misery ended when he finally arrived at his house. Relieved to see the nuisance wasn't there, he smiled lamely and made

his way to his room. "Ah, finally, no sponge to impede my rest!" Squid said happily as he twisted on his heel towards his canopy and carelessly

fell unto the queen sized mattress. The muscles in his back where coaxed by the gentle surface of the cushioning; he could lay there for

eternity. He emitted a sigh, warmly grinned, and began to fall into a graceful slumber he most definitely deserved…

**BOOM**.

"AHHHH! SQUIDWARD, HURRY QUICK!"

Squidward shot up out of his covers in a hysterical haze, fighting with the predisposed cocoon that he seemingly formed in his sleep and fell

onto the floor, startled by the sudden clamor. The distressed voice from the sponge continued.

"SQUIDWARD, PLEASE! SOMETHING CRASH LANDED RIGHT INTO MY BACKYARD!


	2. Chapter 2

Fuming with complete contempt, Squidward jolted up from his falter only to be rewarded with a sudden straining sensation in his back.

Immediately, he grasped his back in sheer agony and fell to the floor once again. He could feel the tears starting to well in his eyes followed by

a strident quail.

"I really need to see the chiropractor…" He feebly moaned to himself, instilled in one position on the floor, reluctant to move. He was more so

focused on postulating what exactly happened next door than moving. He didn't even bother looking outside to whatever was amiss. In

retrospect, Squidward knew he was always falling for that sponge's tricks. Every other day he was always banded into his shenanigans one

way or another. Well, not today. He will not again be involved in his weird antics and hyper-sensitive imagination.

He muttered unintelligibly to himself before he finally mustered the courage to get up, apply some ear plugs, and bundle up in his covers.

The uninvited babbling discord had successfully vanished, letting his own world metastasize his conscious once again, allowing no interlopers

to ruin his whim.

"**Squidward**!…"

"**squidward**…"

"squid.."

Hiding underneath his mattress, Spongebob sheepishly skimmed around, petrified of what might be scurrying about in his house. Everything

was too dark and opaque to distinguish any sort of movement, but, faintly, he could hear someone rummaging through the living room

downstairs and an occasional voice. Could he be getting robbed? No, he saw it. He saw the creature outside, making it's way into his

pineapple. It looked nothing like the sea folk down here in Bikini Bottom. He couldn't really describe it's face because of all the spartan

like armor it wore, but what was most disconcerting of all, was the fact that it was carrying some kind of advanced weapon. Another clash

followed by an audible voice emanated from down stairs.

"Hmmm, quite interesting, yes. The specimen seems to have a feeble gastropod slave."

"Meow."

_**Gary, no!**_Quivering, the worried sponge clasped his now clammy hands in terror, hoping the thing wouldn't inflict harm on his beloved pet.

This urged the young sponge to inch out from underneath the bed, stepping a little closer to the door. Pressing his ear against the door, he

could finally discern the foreign voice. It was daftly nasally, yet, it spoke perfect English. Even though the voice was a tad bit high, it was

evidently a male. Breaking his reverie, there was a shrill hiss from the seemingly aggravated snail.

"Oh, no. You're certainly not useful for any sort of scientific practicum on Mars. We've already dissected dozens of your kind- discovering your internal structure. Shall, I say farewell?" A slight hum could be heard, presumably coming from the weapon he wielded.

"NO! GARY!"

Spongebob impulsively burst open the door and rushed downstairs to his snail. The sudden rancor startled the martian, unfocusing the aim of

the gun as he fired, dematerializing part of a wall. Perturbed, the martian swung around to the source of the clamor a

panting, distraught rectangular shaped sponge. Intriguing.

"What are you doing to Gary?!" The spatula wielding sponge belted out, backing up against the wall while eyeing the martian. It was very

uncharacteristic for the young sponge to be this aggressively confronting, especially to strangers, but to him, this snail was like an innocent

sibling; he simply wouldn't let anybody touch him. Although he saw the being earlier, Spongebob was able get a candid view of the intruder.

He had a rather petite structure under all the armor, and his skin was a deathly black, accommodated with a helmet that covered most of his

facial features besides a pair of angry eyes.

"If you lay a hand on Gary, dear Neptune, I'll destroy you with this spatula!" he thwarted, goading the culinary utensil at the perpetrator.

Ignoring the plight, the martian simply readied the charge of his gun- now at the sponge. "My devices indicate that your spatula is a futile

weapon. Prepare for oblitera-" his sentence was stopped abruptly after he was forcefully tackled by Patrick.

"I GOT 'EM SPONGEBOB!"

"What on Mars are you doing? Get off of me this instant, you silly sea star!" Marvin attempted to

escape, but his lithe structure was too weakto fend off the bigger, heavier starfish sitting on him. The gun had skewed out of reach across the

floor… Wow, he should have seen him coming… He lay there, glaring at the sponge before him whilst extremely irritated of his overall failure of

awareness. However, Spongebob still stood there frozen against the wall, unsure of this outlandish situation and only able to muster one

question.

"What _are_ you?"


End file.
